May 24

Most of the time I only want to be awake for about 3 hours a week, and I never want to eat again. Then sometimes I get real excited about things and I wonder how I ever slept days away and I still do not want to eat that much. Sometimes I feel nothing is worth it. That this will be forgotten soon enough, and everyone is shitty anyways. Sometimes I could stay up all night telling you or you or you my thoughts on this or that, or planning moments and lives together for the future. Sometimes I never want to write or talk ever again. It's all the same cry for attention. I'm the same as everyone I can't stand, pathetic. Sometimes I just want to get really fucked up and write until it is raw and beautiful and ugly. Makes perfect sense and does not make sense at all. Sometimes I spend the entire day thinking about the things I should do while managing to do none of them. Sometimes all I want is to fall in love, fuck each others brains out for a few days straight and then fall asleep and never wake up again. Sometimes I can't think of anything I want in the entire world. Sometimes I want it all, and then some. Sometimes I am sweet. Sometimes I am starving with desire. Sometimes I just want to go to sleep.