I haven't been writing on this blog lately because I haven't been liking what I write. Not that I dislike the style I write in or the way it comes out, but the subject matter of my words. I write things in my journal, but I don't feel as though I can put them on this blog for the world to see. I know I said I was going to try and put my whole self into this blog when I started it, but something is stopping me. I don't want people to know everything I'm thinking, especially certain people. I don't feel safe.
It's weird. People say certain things at different times in their lives and in the moment they really do mean what they say. But then things change and what they said isn't the truth anymore. Does that make everything they said in the past a lie too?
In life there is that one person you want to be able to count on, but you can't. You want them to be strong and to be there for you, but they won't. Your world and life would be so much better and even happy if they could do that. But life isn't about being happy all the time and I wonder when the day will come where I will realize what I'm doing to myself.
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