heaven. Every time I walk into Gilly Hicks a voice inside my head makes that noise that signifies entering into the clouds. I think any girl who has entered that store has had that happen to them. I can't ever leave without buying something here, and today was no exception. Anyways, my blog entry isn't going to be about bra and underwear heaven; instead I want to talk about something that happened yesterday. One of my friends needed to talk to me about things happening in her life. I have drifted apart from this person over the last couple of years, but I still consider her someone who I could go to no matter what. She has always been there for me through everything and I know I am there for her. When she arrived at my house I knew something was wrong. She told me about the things she was feeling about her life and such. I couldn't help but relate it to myself. Loneliness. It's a cruel thing and something I have always been afraid of. I can be in a room full of people or even surrounded by friends and still feel like I'm all alone. As much as a claim to be an independent person, I don't think I really am. The past months have shown me how completely dependent I am on certain people in my life and I don't think it's a healthy dependence to have. Being in a bottomless pit of sorrow showed me that I needed to be ok with being by myself. The one and only person you can count on and trust is yourself. I got to a place in my life that was so dark that I didn't know how to get better except to start relying on myself for my happiness and well being. This kind of relates to what I wrote yesterday and I'm learning a lot of different things about myself from my experience. I have my friends and family to help me get through hard times, but I am the one and only person who can truly make things better. You can't count on other people to make it better for you because you might be let down again and again as I've learned. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love all my friends and family to death and I appreciate everything they do for me, but I think I need to be a stronger person and be able to stand on my own two feet without them holding me up. everything you thought you had has gone to shit, but we've got a lot, don't ever forget that
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